Thursday, August 16, 2007

Culinary Nightmares

Continuing the theme of cookery programmes instructing you how to make glorious food you can never get your hands on, this weeks Jamie Oliver's was no exception. He was showing us how to make a ricotta-filled courgette flower. According to his channel 4 website:

"The flowers are very hard to obtain, so by growing your own you have access to these gems during the growing season."

This culinary nonsense drives me up the wall. It actually makes me want to petition channel 4 to let them give me my own show called "Supermarket Cooking" where everything for the recipe can be found in any major retailer and all butchers, grocers and independent food store is off-limits.

I'd also have handy hints for viewers:

"You can get this from your butcher but I recommend buying it straight from the shelf in Sainsbury's. They do 3 for 2 - does your butcher?"

"Don't forget to add to the carbon footprint by buying your packaged peppers from Egypt or Israel - you could grow your own but seriously, why bother when it's easier to nip to your local Tesco?"

I'd also have no irritating catchphrases. How often does one man need to say "delish"? It makes you want to grab the frying pan behind his head and commit first degree murder.

It's pretty simple what people want. A show with good food with ingredients that are easily available in any store; a meal that takes 20-30 minutes to make and doesn't cost any more than your normal meals.

Is this too much to ask?


Blogger Skry said...

Good point. I'd like a show with simple recipies on it. Just simple stuff that tastes nice, not "This is what your mum used to make" or "Of course we have to cook this as it's a great English classic".

How many times have we got to see shows that demonstrate "The Great British menu"? There isn't anything great about it, because so many other countries do what we do and do it better. Any time a tourist wants to know something good and Irish to eat, you have to bite your tongue to not reply "An Ulster Fry". Possibly the most bland, fatty and useless meal unless you're terribly hung over and someone else is eating it.

How can you need to be hung over to find a meal nice? It's like the only time you enjoy sucking lemons is when someone's just poured tequilla down your throat. That doesn't make lemon nice, it just makes it a little less shite than tequilla. Same with British/Irish food - if you need to ne hungover to eat it then it's not that nice.

Don't even get me started on Sunday roasts... Can we do anything to an animal and call it a Great British Traditional Meal that doesn't involve just killing it and throwinig it in the oven? Even the French laugh at our cooking...

4:51 am  

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