Bonkers For Conkers 2006

The 2nd annual Bonkers for Conkers competition kicked off in work yesterday with a surprising 14 people signed up to take part. I had spent the previous week taking the odd minute and lunchtime driving a huge nail through similiar sized conkers so there would be no complaining although that didn't stop people suggesting that tampering was involved - all in jest of course.

A new rule this year was a stomping rule whereby if your opponent knocks the conker and string out of your hand they get to stamp on it until you pick it up with the possibility that you could get your fingers trodden on. Despite the anticipation of violence, this happened twice and half the time people forgot you could do it or only did it in jest out of friendly competition. However there are a few who would gleefully jump up and down until there was nothing but dust.

As the first game began the crowd looked on in anticpation the game soon dragged on as the first two participants were, to be honest, rubbish. The '20 gos each' rule of last year was soon enacted although half way through came a zinger and one conker was split in two and fell half way across the room.

The next two games were of a similar nature and with the game limited to a score of strikes each, the pace is much faster and enjoyable for those watching and taking part. Last years reigning champion was taken out by his own over-enthusiasm and then it it was my turn. I stepped up to the floor and faced off against a dark horse of a colleague. For the first 5 gos I was getting severely beaten and all my swings were misses. After scoring a few hits I noticed a crack appearing in my opponents conker so it was only a matter of time but with only 10 hits left and me trailing in points I had to rely on my weakest factor - skill. I persued the only tactic I could in defense and that was to hope that he hit my conker and his would break before mine. And it worked! Another few hits later and his conker flew into bits over the floor. Victory and a place secured in the quarter finals!

Tomorrow is the beer festival and a review of Brians dinner creation so find out if your intrepid conker player makes it to the final. See you tomorrow and thanks for stopping by.