Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Suit You Sir!

As part of wedding preparations for friends Chris and Eva, and as the best man, I had to have myself measured for a suit. The first thought I had was that I don't know anywhere to get this done within walking range of work. The second was a recollection of a Friends episode when Joey recommended a tailer to Ross and inappropriate cupping was involved.

I wonder if straight tailors are annoyed and disimayed at their profession continually undermined as a homsexual profession in film and media i.e. The Fast Show, The Italian Job etc. Personally, I care not of the persuasion of any worker, only that they are competent in their job. And no funny stuff goes on - but that goes without saying. Imagine hiring a clown who ends up reading Sartre to your children.

But I digress. I finally revisited the place where my parents bought me two suits after graduation in 2001. One was a light green suit for graduation which still looks surprisingly wearable considering it's a light green suit. The other was a grey suit for interviews of which it has been worn for 4 successful times. Good old dependable grey. It never goes out of fashion. If you were to meet a race of aliens, you'd wear a grey suit for neutrality incase colour offended them and you'd have trade routes set up within a lunar cycle.

After explaining to the tailor what I needed, he was happy to oblige and set about wrapping my waist and chest in measuring tape. The outer leg followed and finally my head needed attention. According to guidelines for hats, I should be measured 1 inch above the ears. He said he had never measured a head before (insert insidious remark referencing second paragraph here). *sigh*

So now I have all the measurements except for some reason I have to give my weight. This is tricky because I do not, never have or ever will own a pair of scales. Thus I will have to weigh myself when I'm next at my folks place and especially before Mum serves dinner and I'm offered a fifth helping of spuds and three kinds of dessert.
At least when this is finally done I'll know my weight and waist size, go on a mad slimming diet and not fit into my suit. It'll make for a great speech when my trousers fall down half way through.

4 Comments:

Blogger Skry said...

Maybe you should wait until after you've eaten at the folks before you climb onto the scales. That way you can be weighed closer to the weight you'll be after finishing a whole load of smashing wedding grub.

The last thing you want to do is weigh yourself before you eat and find yourself in a perfectly-fitting suit at the start of the wedding. One starter, main course and half a dessert later you may find your suit is very snug fitting and a random sneeze could send button shrapnel flying everywhere :P

Though the amusing pants-falling-down trick is always a crowdpleaser!

9:38 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't worry you don't have to wear a hat!!

3:53 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eva

3:54 am  
Blogger Jay Tea said...

What? No hat??!

I wanted to wear a hat!

I would have looked dashing....

6:18 pm  

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