Restless

I didn't sleep well last night. This was largely due to too much vino being drunk but also my upstairs neighbour. If you're a country yokel and miss being woken up by the crow at 6am then you can take over my lease and let this man wake you up every morning with his weight lifting. At least that's what I think he does. The noises are something you hear in a horror film when it builds up tension by suggesting what might lie beyond that which you cannot see. Of course it doesn't help that the walls are paper thin and since we're in a middle flat in a terraced house you can hear noises on all sides.

"These walls are paper thin
And everyone hears every little sound
Everyone's a voyeur, their watching me
Watch them, watch me right now"
[Modest Mouse - Paper Thin Walls]

He's German and regular like clockwork. This means you get the added bonus, if you're unlucky to be awake at the time, that you can hear his bowel movements too before the general creaking and squeaking noises begin. I guess the ideal ad would read:

" 2nd Floor, 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, - £200 monthly.
Economy 7 heating, Washing machine, recently decorated.
Suits professional nutter with interest in scat."

So, if you're interested then please don't contact me.