Stag - Part III

After excusing ourselves from Jamisons we made our way over the Liffey to Lapello's. It was kitted out in red velour and low lighting and there were around 20-odd girls swanning around in the crowd wearing lingerie or minimal loose clothing. We were brought over to a corner where bar stools sat along the wall and our coats were taken. Instantly we were appraoched by a constant string of girls asking if we wanted to dance. Having just walked through the door I found this all a little overbearing and asked for a wine list to get a breather.

As I attempted to scan down the list, a girl who seated herself beside me constantly interrupted by asking a series of non-sensical questions in broken English and again asked if I wanted to dance. I honestly didn't find her in the least attractive so I ordered 3 bottles of house red from the waitress and informed her that I would not like one now and that I am going over to talk to the guys. I felt like I was on a package holiday and street hustlers were trying to get me in to eat.

If I'm brutally honest I would have to say that I wouldn't give at least half the girls in the room a second glance if I was single and on the prowl which isn't a good compliment for a lap dancing club.

The wine arrived and it was a whopping 80 Euros for 3 bottles of house red. If I was feeling tense before I was nearing collapse now. I poured the wine out and we stood around chatting and deciding which girl we would like to throw money at.

After the decision was made you are led into a darker U-shaped room with long chairs along the side. There are probably four or five other guys sitting down receiving lap dances at the same time so there's none of the glamour that you see in movies. Your hands are placed beside your legs and there's an unwritten rule that if you were to move too much you'd find yourself out on your ass fist class.

Five minutes and 30 Euros later your lapdance is over with the bonus being that you are now left alone because you're now a paying customer.

We moved on from Lapello's to various bars around Temple bar, none of which I can remember although I do recall falling up a flight of stairs and cracking my left knee on the corner of stone steps which stung like a million bees and has left a nasty bruise. After this it gets a bit fuzzy but a great night was had by all and it was back to the hotel for sweet drunken slumber.

Thanks for stopping by. See you tomorrow for a review of The Departed, Martin Scorsese's new film starring Jack Nicolson, Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio.